Empowering your Habits Part 3 with Tracey Bosch


When talking to people, we should always keep in mind that “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Why is that? Because words are powerful, and if we are not careful in our conversations, we could affect the next person’s confidence, strengths and ability to shine.


On the 19th of October, Tracey Bosch conducted the third segment of Empowering your Habits. The primary focus of her discussion was to help her audience speak in a manner that gets results. In this article, we briefly elaborate on the pointers we should keep in mind to achieve this.


To successfully speak, one has to apply effective speaking. Effective speaking means being able to say what you want to say so that it is heard and acted upon. 


Often, as humans, we are people pleasers, and we want other people to like us. We generally tell someone something that will make them like us because we don’t want to step on their toes. However, being honest and authentic can change an individual’s world.


Question: How can we be honest and authentic in practical ways?


The answer is in using these words to assist you:


  • Replace I and you with “We” – Everyone needs to solve the situation. Therefore we should not use words like you and I because it may come off as shifting blame.
  • Support vs help – Help is when you tie someone’s shoelaces, support is when you teach someone how to tie their shoelaces. Appealing for support instead of ‘helping’ empowers the other person.
  • I feel vs I think – When somebody says I think we should do this; usually, it’s their opinion. The person believes that they are better than you. In contrast, it becomes a different conversation if a person says I feel frustrated by the situation. We should practice saying I feel rather than saying I think.
  • Respect vs Re/spect – True respect is when someone realises that the person they are speaking to needs support. It also involves putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
  • Sorry – We need to observe how often we use this word because it can lose its meaning if it is overused; for instance, replace the phrase sorry with excuse me.
  • Can I – We must only ask a question if it is genuinely valid, so instead of saying can I, rather use may I or is it possible.
  • But – using this word after someone has said something could imply that their point of view means nothing. Instead, use the word however or and.


In conclusion, we should always pay attention to what we say because doing so will improve our communication skills with others.


To listen to the entire webinar, you can go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMbfv7nKymQ&t=1213s or find out more about ORT SA; go to www.ortsa.org.za.